Marriage is not always easy, and it’s not always fun. However, you can have a fun marriage, and it starts with the way you think about the everyday events in your relationship.
Every marriage goes through times of boredom or stress. Those are the times when it’s easy to connect monotony and unhappiness with the thought that your marriage isn’t working. That negative thought causes you to act in a pessimistic way. You mope or pout. You feel hopeless and start to wonder if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
Having fun is a choice. When you think a fun marriage is something you have to achieve, you will start blaming everything and everyone else for not having one! But, when you take responsibility for your attitude and choose to find the fun in life, you create the quality of your marriage.
Having fun is important for your marriage
There are many benefits to having a fun marriage, and it’s more than just laughter and happiness.
Dr. Steve Stephens wrote in his book, Blueprints for a Solid Marriage, “Couples who know how to play and have fun together develop a bonding that can carry them through the most difficult of times.” Learning to have fun creates a bond and helps you in your journey to becoming one flesh with your spouse.
Focusing on having fun in your marriage will help you if you are feeling disconnected from your spouse. Couples who have fun, play, and laugh together are those who enjoy a deep and satisfying emotional connection.
Having fun helps you to build a friendship with your spouse. Having a “best friend” relationship as well as a romantic one leads to long-term success in your marriage. Couples who have been married for many decades often cite friendship as one reason their marriages have stood the test of time.
Having fun is not something that you can only schedule on the calendar. It’s a mindset, a way of being and feeling, that spills over into your everyday interactions. If you expect to have fun, you will find more and more opportunities to enjoy your time together.
So how can you bring about a mindset that will create a fun marriage and a happier, more fulfilled life? Start with some of these thoughts.
Fun won’t just happen. You need to create opportunities for fun since people don’t naturally lean toward optimism. If we leave our thoughts to run amuck, most of us will lean toward pessimism most of the time. You have to be intentional and look for ways to incorporate fun into your lives.
These opportunities should be both scheduled and spontaneous events. So, plan fun activities like date nights and games at home, but maybe more importantly, choose actions that will make life more fun. Choose to see the bright side in situations and learn to laugh at yourselves. Smile more than you scowl, and joke around with your spouse.
If you think there’s no way this will work because you are the only one who seems interested in making the change, give it a shot anyway. Laughter can be contagious. You might just brighten your spouse’s day in a way they didn’t expect, and that can be the first step toward a new closeness.
Be willing to take risks.
We all get comfortable inside our comfort zones, which can be part of why marriage gets dull sometimes. So, take a step outside your comfort zone. Try something new together and be willing to take risks.
You can make this more of a part of your marriage by taking turns choosing the activities for your dates. When it is your spouse’s turn to choose, you have to do what they ask, and the same goes for them when it’s your turn.
Trying something new can be an adventure that improves the connection you need as a couple. So, expect it to be fun. No grumbling! You may end up trying things (or even liking things) you wouldn’t have thought of before.
To have more fun, you need to stop taking everything so seriously. When things are rough, do your best to lighten the mood. Don’t ignore the problem, but don’t let it consume you either.
Don’t worry. Trust God to take care of the problem.
Laughter is good for our health, and laughing together creates more robust connections. Couples need to learn to laugh through life together because life has enough issues that bring us down. Learn to lift one another up by using humor or a fun activity to get your mind off the problems.
Many couples believe fun is the result of compatibility. That is, the more you have in common, the more fun you will have. Instead, I like to think, the more fun you have together, the more you will find that you are already well-matched!
The biblical definition of compatibility is found in Mark 10:8, where it says, “The two shall become one.” You choose to be compatible and grow together, and having fun in your marriage is one path to that oneness.
Need some ideas to start having more fun in your marriage? Every couple is different, but here are some ideas that may get you started.
- Try new things like dance lessons, jet skiing, or fishing.
- Flirt. It’s not just for dating.
- Try a new restaurant.
- Take day trips. We like to do coin flip dates. Every time you get to an intersection, flip a coin. Heads, go right; tails, go left. You never know where you’ll end up.
- Go on a hike or bike ride.
- Watch a funny movie or your favorite sitcom together.
- Send flirty texts. Need some ideas?
- Don’t forget to hug and kiss your spouse every day, or something a little more than that!
- Play that game that you used to play when you were dating
- Keep your spouse on your toes by being spontaneous and surprising them!
- Include a little anticipation into your sex life.
- Mix up something in your spouse’s daily routine.
It takes five positive interactions to make up for each time you say or do something that hurts your spouse’s feelings. Having fun and being playful with each other are like deposits you make into the bank for those times your spouse isn’t so happy with you.
So be intentional about having fun and enjoying life together. It’s too short not to!