Rebooting your marriage is a lot like rebooting a computer.
I’m pretty sure this has happened to all of us at one time or another. Your computer starts acting weird, and you don’t know what to do to fix the problem. You ask a friend if they know what to do, or you email customer support, and what is the first thing they ask you? “Did you restart it?”
Why is that always the first step?
Well, it’s because rebooting your computer is the simplest, quickest way to correct most errors that occur. We often see that there is a problem, but we’re not sure precisely what is going on, but we remember, “If in doubt, reboot.”
The majority of the time, the reboot will solve the problem.
Every computer can benefit from rebooting every so often. And so can a marriage.
Marriage can be like a computer with a lot of programs running at the same time. You have a lot of things going at once on your computer if you’re anything like me. (I’m pretty much the queen of open tabs.) When you run a lot of programs at once, your computer gets bogged down, and errors occur.
You probably have a lot of programs running in your marriage too.
Even if you run the “marriage program” at the front of your life, hundreds of other programs are running in the background. These could include:
- the parenthood program
- the work program
- the housekeeping program
- the banking program
And a bunch more depending on your life situation.
All of these programs are trying to steal memory from the marriage program. And when they do, the marriage program crashes.
Marriage Symptoms that require a reboot
How do you fix a marriage that has crashed or one that shows signs of an imminent meltdown? Look for some of these symptoms of errors in your marriage program, and then reboot it.
This error could also be known as the nag inducer. This error is when one partner is slow to respond to their spouse when they are talking. If you feel like your spouse isn’t listening to anything you’re saying, your marriage may be facing the Slow Response error.
High Memory Usage
This error happens when one or both partners are remembering too much. A good marriage requires a lot of forgiveness, coupled with a good dose of forgetting. When you keep your partner’s past sins running in the front of your mind, the High Memory usage error causes your brain to be unable to focus on today’s marriage.
The Weak Connection error occurs when spouses don’t take time to strengthen the bond they should share as one flesh. It can also be called the Roommate Error because it makes you feel like roommates and not lovers.
On a computer, malware gets into the device, and the code begins replicating itself and attacking sensitive parts of the system. The devil loves to install malicious code into your mind to create a glitch in your marriage. One detrimental thought can multiply and take over, making your marriage seem unfixable.
Like a computer can run too hot, so can a marriage. If you or your spouse experience temper flares frequently, it can destroy the other components of your marriage, just like heat can destroy the components of a computer. Refreshing your marriage gives you both a chance to calm down.
Rebooting your marriage will help to flush out all those extra things running in the background that are not beneficial to your marriage. It helps you fix the small glitches before they turn into something that can destroy your relationship.
God has a plan for marriages more remarkable than anything the world offers. He wants it to be healthy, fulfilling, and focused on Him. These verses from Colossians are not specific to marriage, but a marriage where you want to represent a loving God will look a lot like this:
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:12-14
You can have this kind of relationship by rebooting your marriage whenever you experience glitches and malicious codes bent on destroying your marriage.
Just like there is ctrl+alt+delete on a computer, there is a keystroke for rebooting a marriage. Memorizing that simple formula allows you to refresh your marriage at any time. You can learn that blueprint by clicking here to sign up for our upcoming Reboot Your Marriage Challenge.