Do you have a successful marriage? Whether you consider your relationship successful or not, you can make it even better if you set goals and work together to create a better (or even better) marriage.
When something goes wrong in your marriage, those thoughts can come and create doubts about your relationship. The world’s belief that marriages just aren’t designed to last forever sneaks in and these thoughts try that no one lives happily ever after, and you might just as well give up.
DON’T GIVE UP!
These thoughts of giving up on your marriage don’t come from God, and if they don’t come from Him, ignore them! Your marriage isn’t doomed. You can bring back the joy by giving your marriage the attention it needs to succeed. One way to do this is to set goals for your marriage.
Benefits of setting goals
It’s important that you identify what you and your spouse want from your marriage. Be willing to look at what your strengths and weaknesses are because if you don’t know what needs to improve, then how can you really know if your marriage is growing or not?
Here are some other reasons you need to set goals for your relationship.
Successful life and marriage
Many experts recognize goal setting as an effective way to ensure a measure of success in your life. People set all kinds of goals every year. Lose weight. Make more money. Why not “Improve our marriage” as a goal for you and your spouse?
Opportunity to discuss hopes and dreams
In such a busy world, you probably don’t sit down much with your spouse and ask things like, “So, honey, what are your hopes and dreams for the future?” Yet sharing these ideas can bring you closer and identify common ground where you can work together.
A chance at a fresh start
Who doesn’t like getting a second chance? We all need them because we screw up royally sometimes. Goal setting for your marriage gives you a chance to forgive (and be forgiven from) mistakes that were made, and force you to make a plan to improve on that shortcoming in the year to come.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
Improvement for every marriage
No marriage is perfect, but no marriage is completely flawed either. No matter how you would rate your relationship the moment, there is always a place for improvement.
A vision that allows you to move forward
If you don’t know where you are going, you won’t get there.
Catch a vision of your future marriage. That vision will fuel your life and result in you making better choices. God has a purpose not only for you individually but also as a couple. Pray about it, discuss it, and move on it.
And the Lord answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. Habakkuk 2:2
Mutual agreement on priorities
As you set goals, you will discuss and share the most important parts of your life. You may come to discover how important something is to your spouse that you didn’t realize was such a big deal to them before.
Progress in your own personal development
There are no perfect marriages and no perfect people. You will discover your own shortcomings in these goal-setting discussions. Instead of becoming defensive, take steps to improve your own reactions, knowledge, or priorities that will enhance your relationship with your spouse.
Dangers of not setting goals:
Setting goals and taking action to achieve them is not easy. The process is simple, but it takes time, work, and commitment to achieve them. However, no matter how tough meeting your goals seems, not setting them can have some severe consequences you want to avoid.
If you don’t set specific goals for your marriage, the busyness and sin of the world can easily pull you away. Marriage sabotaging sins become enticing to you.
Avoiding goal setting in your marriage gives your spouse the impression that your relationship doesn’t have priority in your life. This is especially true if you set goals for other areas of your life. The time you spend reaching those goals will take away from the time you spend strengthening your marriage.
What about those things you wish for? Wishing is not goal setting. Just hoping for a debt-free life won’t make it happen, and procrastination on those ideas will take over. Stop saying, “Someday, we will…” and get to work on a plan to get there.
Without setting goals and making plans for your marriage, it is easier for your emotions to take over. You worry too much and look for happiness in the moment. The lack of progress in your marriage will cause it to weaken. It can’t go forward without taking intentional action. It will only slide backward.
Ideas for Goal setting
If you are looking for ideas to help you set goals in your marriage, you may get some inspiration from these suggestions.
Do you need to improve your mindset about your marriage to become more positive? Read our post on 7 Mindsets that will improve your marriage for some ideas!
Brainstorm ways to improve your companionship, communication, intimacy, and forgiveness, and to grow in your faith together.
Most importantly, include God in your plans. Spend time in prayer to determine goals He has for you and what your priorities should be in goal setting.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” Ps. 127:1
There is hope for every marriage, and one way to bring back the joy in your relationship is to set goals together. No matter when you are reading this, I don’t want you to look back next year at this time and lament the lack of progress you have made.
So, I challenge you to come back and read next week’s blog where we will dig a little deeper into determining the types of goals you should set to make your marriage purposeful.
If you’d like help setting effective goals for your marriage and following through on them, we’d love to chat with you. Sign up for a FREE 30-minute video call with us and we’ll get you going on the right track to get the marriage you dream about.
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