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Are you worried about your marriage? Do you spend too much time and mental energy fearing that the worst will happen? Perhaps you fret about the possibility of your spouse cheating on you and leaving you for the other person. Maybe you fear that you are not spending enough time together, or perhaps too much time together. Do you worry that you are not doing enough to make them happy or that you don’t have sex often enough for them? You need to eliminate anxiety from your marriage because, ironically, all this worry about your marriage falling apart may actually be what is causing it to fall apart.
When you feel anxious about your marriage, it causes you to be distracted, and when you are distracted from your relationship, the lack of time spent in quality interaction causes you to distance yourself from your spouse. That distance between you can damage the trust in your relationship and disrupt both emotional and physical intimacy.
There is an underlying theme in the Psalms that points to how we process the emotions we experience in an imperfect world in the light of a perfect God.
Psalm 56 is an excellent example of this. Read the Psalm and notice how David is showing his path to eliminate anxiety and choose peace.
For the choir director: A psalm of David, regarding the time the Philistines seized him in Gath. To be sung to the tune “Dove on Distant Oaks.”
1 O God, have mercy on me,
for people are hounding me.
My foes attack me all day long.
2 I am constantly hounded by those who slander me,
and many are boldly attacking me.
3 But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in you.
4 I praise God for what he has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
5 They are always twisting what I say;
they spend their days plotting to harm me.
6 They come together to spy on me—
watching my every step, eager to kill me.
7 Don’t let them get away with their wickedness;
in your anger, O God, bring them down.
8 You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
9 My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help.
This I know: God is on my side!
10 I praise God for what he has promised;
yes, I praise the Lord for what he has promised.
11 I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
12 I will fulfill my vows to you, O God,
and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help.
13 For you have rescued me from death;
you have kept my feet from slipping.
So now I can walk in your presence, O God,
in your life-giving light.
Explore the Verses
In the first two verses, you see how anxiety was attacking David. The attacks are constant and causing him to wear down. When you are having anxiety, you can lose sleep and feel paralyzed to do anything about it.
When you are feeling anxious about your marriage, stop and ask yourself these questions.
- Is what I think correct, or is it just my perception of the circumstances?
- What thoughts or feelings inside myself could be causing this worry?
In verses 5-7, David shows that anxiety is the enemy. It’s not an action. Instead, it is a reaction to external forces. We don’t chase after anxious feelings!
Most importantly, anxiety is not who you are. It is the enemy, and you have to fight it. Many people say they have anxiety and seem to accept that fact. Instead of allowing anxiety about your marriage and your life, stand up against it and aim to defeat it.
God knows everything about your anxiety. In verses 8 and 9, David shows that God was aware of every anxious feeling he was experiencing. Your Savior understands and empathizes with you when you tremble with fear or when your heart is racing a mile a minute. He is there to listen to you and comfort you.
The theme of verses 10-11 are repeats from verses 3-4. They demonstrate that when those anxious feelings about your marriage begin to rise up, you can set yourself on a new path to defeat it. Turn to God in these moments and he will help you devise a plan to eliminate anxiety and replace it with peace. This plan may include getting counsel both from the Bible and others, either professionals or others who have been through similar situations.
Some Final Thoughts to Eliminate Anxiety
You need to change your mindset about your marriage to make it more constructive, positive and Biblical. Think of positive statements to pray over your marriage and your spouse to eliminate anxiety over your marriage.
Trust and sincerely believe that God of the Universe cares about you and your feelings. He wants you to have peace in your life, and he desires to give you that peace more than you could ever want it for yourself.
It may help to journal about the things that are causing you anxiety about your marriage. Write down your feelings and then write how you can rely on God during anxious times. Don’t forget to write about the freedom that comes when Christ removes that anxiety from your life. This journal is really on point because as you write, 1 Peter 5:7 is right there keeping your mind focused. I believe the more we keep God’s word in front of our eyes, the more it sinks into the heart.
Remember, anxiety is your enemy. It is the enemy of your soul, your life, and every part of it including your marriage. Take David’s cues from Psalm 56 and make it your goal to eliminate anxiety. Start today to defeat that enemy and rid your life of it.