Sometimes we all struggle with decisions. We have choices to make every day concerning issues that affect our lives and our marriages. God calls us to have discernment, but what exactly is that, and how do we get it?
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What is discernment?
The dictionary describes discernment as the ability to judge well. As Christians, we go a step further. It’s not only judging things well. Instead, discernment is being able to distinguish between situations and how to respond to them. It recognizes the moral implications of the actions that we choose to make. Simply put, it’s judging right from wrong, good from bad, and the permanent things from those which will fade away.
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1
Discernment comes by being in touch with what is true about God, the world around us, and ourselves. It’s learning to think biblically, as God Himself thinks without being tainted by the world. Practicing discernment keeps us from falling for the promises the world gives and pulling us away from God.
Nurture Discernment in Your Life
To have this ability to think as God thinks doesn’t come all at once. We need to nurture it in our lives by welcoming the Holy Spirit into every part of our lives, including our marriages. When we intentionally create a habit of attempting to discern events as God gives us wisdom, we become familiar with His voice. We know what he is whispering to our spirits, and we notice and respond to those whisperings. Over time, we learn to discern using a gut feeling that comes from a close relationship with the Savior. The decisions made from this perspective bring a sense of life and freedom to the situation.
Unfortunately, many Christians don’t have the discernment that they should, and they are fooled easily by false information about everything, including marriage. They have not armed themselves with a full and personal understanding of the Bible and their relationship with God. They don’t measure what they hear or see against the Word of God, and that makes it easy for the Devil to blur the lines between good and evil and affect your mindset for your marriage.
How Can Discernment Help Your Marriage
Use discernment in your marriage to help you understand what are critical issues in your marriage, and what you can let go of without damaging the relationship.
- Keep your marriage in God’s word. The more you know, the better you can discern His way.
- Pray together that you will give God the final word in your choices. Don’t just make his way an equally valid option among many.
- Choose righteousness for your marriage. Stay faithful. Stay connected, and choose for your marriage to honor God.
- Choose an unpopular route if the choices are to make the people around you happy or to please God. Stand up for what is right and fight against what is wrong.
Do you want to do more reading into how Godly discernment can improve your life and your relationship with God? Try this book by Elizabeth Liebert.
Pray for Discernment in Your Marriage
Here’s a prayer for discernment to get you started. Pray this over your marriage this week.
Next week, we will look at praying to invite God’s presence into your marriage.
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