How do you react when you get angry with your spouse? Your reaction to a conflict can make or break your relationship.
It’s the reaction you choose to have that makes the difference. If you act rashly, you risk damaging the relationship even more, but if you choose to keep your immediate emotions rule your actions, you’ll allow for a peaceful resolution to the problem.
Do you think that you can’t control your reactions to the things your spouse says that hurts or irritates you. Well, think again. You can control those reactions.
If you tell yourself, “Well, I just have a short fuse,” you have made yourself believe it and so that’s how you will act.
Exploding on your partner and doing things like screaming, calling names, or threatening your spouse can and should be avoided. It causes your spouses to live in a stressful, uncomfortable environment where they feel like they have to walk on eggshells.
Eggshells are not good for your marriage.
Rely on God to Cool Your Temper in Conflict
God didn’t create you to have a short temper, but sometimes people convince themselves that having a short fuse is “just the way they are.” Don’t think of yourself in that way. Instead, replace that destructive self-talk with truth from God’s word.
Memorizing these verses will give you a way to combat the enemy when he tries to use a vicious temper to destroy a marriage. If your spouse struggles in this area, pray these verses over them that they can rely on God for their responses to conflict.
Proverbs 15:1 NCV
A gentle answer will calm a person’s anger,
but an unkind answer will cause more anger.
James 1:19-20 NCV
My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants.
Proverbs 14:29 NLT
People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.
So before you allow your temper to get the best of you, stop. Keep your mouth closed for a moment while you think about what you truly need to say. Pray that you will be able to control your temper and communicate a feeling of compassion and understanding for your partner and not one of anger. Pray that you can speak with your spouse as Christ would.
Prayer is only one step toward solving conflict in your marriage. Yes, it is the most important one, but you have to take action and create new habits and mindsets that will put your marriage on a new path. If you just get up from prayer and continue to act the way you did before, nothing will change!
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