How To Be Teammates In Marriage


In my house, football season is a big deal. My husband and I are both big fans. (And yes, I was a fan of the sport before I even met him.) Sunday afternoons are devoted to enjoying the games that are on television while keeping up on our fantasy football scores. This time of year, with playoff berths on the line, can get intense as we cheer on our team. But, even though football is fantastic, there is another team we are part of that is so much more important. Together, we are teammates in marriage. Team Rosenberger in our case.

You see, when we were married, we instantly became a team in God’s eyes the moment we committed ourselves to one another at the altar. As a team, one instructive verse to remember should be:

“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)

The Christmas season is the perfect time to practice strategies that will make it easier for you both to think about yourselves as part of a team. There is a lot to do, and a limited amount of time to get it done.

You are a team, so head into the season as a team that is determined to win.

Teammates in Marriage with One Goal

Before a football game, you often see the players huddled up, encouraging each other, chanting positive phrases as they get ready to take on the competition. No matter what they are up against, these teammates have one goal–to win.

Attack the holiday season with your spouse as a team would attack their game with their opponent.

First, make a game plan. Decide which of you will complete each task on the to-do list. On a football team, the players play where they are best suited. Choose your assignments by using the same criteria.

Carry one another’s burdens. When a player on the field is struggling, his teammates will attempt to make up for the issue on the field and encourage that player when they are off the field. Do the same for your spouse during this busy time. If they are struggling to complete something, support them and help them. Don’t berate or make them feel inadequate. That doesn’t help the team.

Bring your best. Professional football players know they have to bring their best to the playing field every week, regardless of how tough the opponent may be. Give your best to checking off each and every item from your to-do list. Go above and beyond what your spouse may expect.

Teammates in Marriage Play to Win

Remember, you are in this together. Two people on the same team cannot simultaneously win and lose. The outcome for one is the outcome for the other. When you are working to complete any task together, not just Christmas ones, either everyone wins, and Christmas is relaxing and enjoyable for the entire family, or everyone loses, and it’s not.

Change the way you use the word “winning” when you are talking about being teammates in marriage. Instead of considering it a victory over the other person, consider it a word meaning that you have found solutions that both people are happy with.

Remember, Jesus said

Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall” (Luke 11:17).

It may seem odd to use this verse to help you get all those Christmas tasks completed, but Jesus wants your marriage to be successful. He wants you to win as a couple, and not let anything cause division between the two of you.

Teammates In Marriage use Team Building

A good team requires team building exercises too. The more you connect “off the field,” the more success you will have when you need to bring your combined all to any situation. Here are a few things you may want to do this next few weeks to prepare to face the holiday head-on, together.

View Christmas lights:

Walk or drive around town and look for the best displays. Take pictures of each other by the lights if possible.

Take a weekend away to shop:

Kill two birds with one stone. Finish your shopping and have time alone without the kids. You’ll have time to connect and rekindle the romance.

Christmas music after bedtime for kids:

Keep the television off and the devices away. Instead, just put in the music, cuddle, and talk about your days.


Give your time together to help those less fortunate than you. The shared experience will create a new connection.

Go snow tubing:

Why not? It’s a fun adventure, and you’ll need to warm each other up afterward.

Make mug cakes and cookies:

Once the kids are in bed, find a recipe for single serve mug cakes or cookies. Cook them up together and then eat all the evidence.

Never tried a mug cake before? Here’s the easy way to give them a try!

Christmas scavenger hunt:

Make a list of symbols that you see during the Christmas season. Then hop in the car, and drive around to try and find them. Reward yourselves after a successful hunt.

This time of year can seem like a football playoff season. There’s more stress and more to do than at other times of the year. Create a winning atmosphere for both of you so that you and your family can enjoy this season together.

Are you still trying to get organized for Christmas? You’re not alone! This worksheet can help you decide on four very important issues before the stress sets in (or if it already has?) Sign up for our email list to get the freebie and start planning with your spouse, so there are no surprises.