Are You Taking Your Spouse for Granted?


We may have just recently passed Thanksgiving, but it is never the wrong time to thank God for everything he has given to us, especially our marriages. Especially now, because this time of year is so busy that it is easy to feel taken for granted.


The phrase “take for granted” means to fail to properly appreciate (someone or something), especially as a result of overfamiliarity.

In Exodus chapter 16, Moses had brought the Israelite people through the Red Sea and delivered them from a life of slavery. But soon after they saw the armies of Pharaoh dramatically drown in the sea, they started complaining. It was a “What have you done for us lately?” mentality. They forgot so quickly. They took their relationship with God for granted.

If you are feeling taken for granted in your marriage or other relationships, these steps based on Rick Warren’s article “What to Do When You Feel Taken for Granted” may help you deal with it differently.

Don’t curse it.

When your spouse doesn’t seem to appreciate you, don’t strike back. Leave your irritation with God. Instead, continue speaking positively to your spouse.

Romans 12:14 says, “Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse.”

Don’t rehearse it.

Every time you review the hurt you feel when you feel as if you are being taken for granted, it gets bigger. Don’t let it blow out of. That can take your marriage down a dangerous road, and you can’t allow that to happen.

Proverbs 10:12 says “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”

Don’t nurse it.

Don’t have a pity party. Being angry is OK. Anger is a reasonable response to hurt feelings. But if you ruminate on that anger, it can become sin.

Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Don’t get so angry that you sin. Don’t go to bed angry, and don’t give the devil a chance” (CEV).

If you feel like your spouse is taking you for granted, don’t lash out. Don’t continually think poorly of your spouse. Instead, take some steps to show them more appreciation and see if they begin to reciprocate. Don’t let your spouse feel like they are being taken for granted either.

Pray for your marriage today!

Not taken for granted prayer

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