Storms in your marriage have a lot in common with snowstorms like this one!
If any of you live in the northeastern US on November 15, 2018, you probably were caught in this mess!
We expected snow, but the combination of the time it hit, and the intensity of it just caught everyone off guard. I know people who sat in traffic for 4.5 hours trying to get to work, only to have to turn around and head home. Schools let out early, but again, the timing caused chaos. Students in the school where I used to teach had to be brought back because the buses couldn’t get anywhere on the roads. Luckily (or not) some of the teachers couldn’t get home either and came back to stay with the kids. It wasn’t the only district with that problem either.
It was easy for everyone to blame their state or city governments for the delays. Emotions ran high as commuters ranted that there were no plows on the road. (Newsflash–They were stuck in traffic too!) People blamed the schools for opening at all, even though there was absolutely no snow during the early morning hours. I heard people in every area affected say someone should have done more.
It was quite the uproar.
There was one guy who took everything in stride during the gridlock. This camel.
(This dromedary is now known as the Pennsylvania Camel. And we believe in him. He’s real. His actual name is Einstein, and you can read his story here.)
Perfect Storms in Your Marriage
Is your marriage stuck in a chaotic snowstorm right now? You feel like you can’t move in any direction and the stress is building up?
When things build up that fast, it’s difficult to keep up, and all that mess can get you stuck.
Avoid this by having a plan in place to keep your relationship from being mired down in the chaos of life. And develop a marriage mindset so that when it trouble comes, you will be in a place to deal with it.
The perfect storm in the northeast last week needed two ingredients to come together and create the mess that it became; the horrible timing and a storm that refused to be limited by mere meteorologists’ predictions. It had extra fuel. The weather outlets said that it “over-performed.” That’s the scientific term for “crap-load of snow.”
Getting Through the Storms
When storms in your marriage come along, don’t let a small problem overperform. In this situation, the last thing you want to do is add fuel. It won’t accomplish anything.
Maybe you tend to react to these problems by yelling at your spouse or accusing them of the issue, whether they had anything to do with it or not. Some people will withdraw and not talk at all, causing the other to be anxious. These reactions only add fuel to the storm.
It is so important that you remain as calm during troubled times. Think past the first emotions before you act. If you want to yell, scream, or other act out in other ways while you are alone, go for it. Get it out of your system.
Then, stop, pray, and prepare to address the problem. After you go through these steps, then lovingly approach your spouse with a positive mindset that you will be able to work through this.
Most importantly, don’t give up. People caught in the snowstorm gave up and tried to go home. That didn’t work out so well for them either. No matter where you are in your marriage, don’t automatically assume that getting out is going to make your life better.
To avoid the storms in your marriage, you need to prepare for the things that life throws at us. We all have problems with money, health, and relationships, but the strongest marriages will be able to survive it all.
In short, when life throws your marriage a snowstorm, be a camel.
Looking for a way to stay accountable in your marriage relationship and keep it healthy so the storms won’t overwhelm you? Marriage Confetti is offering free 30-minute marriage assessment calls with couples who want to have a Christ-centered marriage that can stand the test of time. Click here and we can chat about how you can take your marriage from frustrating to fulfilling!