Have you rebooted your marriage recently? I know, you’re probably thinking, “What are you talking about? My marriage is not a computer! It’s not that easy.” But there are more similarities than you may know. A reboot clears all the junk out of the memory of the computer and resets it to a more stable state. I want to introduce you to three reboots every couple should make to keep the marriage healthy.
I’m a bit of a technology nerd. Pretty much everyone I know is aware of that. When friends approach me with questions because their *insert technology type here* isn’t working and they want to throw it off a bridge and run over it with a bulldozer, the first suggestion I make is usually, “Did you restart it?” It’s amazing how much can be fixed by just restarting it.
Restarting an electronic device is a simple fix. You can usually flush out all of the junk that is clogging it up by doing that. When you boot it back up, the program typically runs better. The device works the way it did before you allowed something outside to mess with it.
A marriage reboot is not as simple as restarting a cell phone, but the concept is the same.
Satan wants to destroy marriages because he knows that destroying marriages, shatters the people in them. If you’ve allowed outside forces to creep in and damage your relationship, you can reboot it. Here are three resolutions that will make your marriage strong enough to block outside influences.
Put God first
Having a Christian marriage means that you put God ahead of everyone else, even your spouse. It’s a genuine commitment to his will for your life and not just a take it out on Sunday put it away on Monday religion. It can’t be only lip service. When you are focused on what is important to God, you keep Satan from infiltrating what God has put together.
When you find time to study God’s word with your spouse, you will be rewarded with a closer relationship with God and with each other. Your marital bond is more difficult to break when God is woven into it.
Put your spouse above all other people
Put them ahead of yourself. And, yes, the kids too. Putting your spouse first in no way means that you don’t take care of yourself or your children. You and your spouse need to be a team. If your marriage is going to last, you will probably spend more years with your kids out of the house than in it. You don’t want to turn around one day and wonder who that person is sitting on the couch with you. If you are one flesh, the devil can’t get between you.
Work hard. Have fun.
Yes, you can do both. And you should! When I was a teacher, I did my very best to make even the most mundane tasks as enjoyable as possible for my students. Marriage requires hard work, but there are ways to make it better by just injecting a little fun into it.
Don’t do date nights? You should, even if the two of you can only get away long enough to eat hot fudge sundaes at McDonald’s and reconnect.
It’s never too late–or too early to make resolutions
The decisions themselves look simple enough, but creating a fulfilling marriage requires commitment and diligence on your part. You need to be intentional and focus on your relationship. Neglected marriages can have their foundations eroded away before you can even notice it’s happening.
Of course, the best time to agree on these resolutions is when things are going well. (Before you’re married would be ideal if you’re reading this as an engaged person) When emotions are not running high, it’s easier to focus on the big picture.
A good place to start would be studying God’s Word together. If you’re looking for a resource to use, I have a three journal set that allows you to prepare for a devotion on your own before discussing it with your spouse. If you’re short on together time, like most couples, especially those with children, this works great. It allows you to prepare beforehand, and that results in better discussions. The first set is called “Finding the Good in Your Spouse.” Check it out here.
It’s never too late to commit your marriage and your life to God. Making these resolutions for the first time or recommitting to them, even when it seems hopeless certainly can’t hurt the situation. God can rebuild any marriage if He is invited to be the master builder. He can provide that stable foundation.
Have you made these resolutions to protect your marriage? Celebrate it tonight. (Maybe with a hot fudge sundae) and share it on our Facebook page. Each Friday I post a possible topic for discussion. Comment on it by telling me you did this or if you feel so inclined, how the conversation went!?